The Biggest Lie of Our Culture
This is a message I shared with the Overseas CIP team to Chiang Mai a few days back. I thought it good to share it here too!
Every Culture has its share of unspoken beliefs and values. And it’s so unspoken that it happens to us at the heart level: we don’t know that we believe certain things.
It’s a lie in Singapore culture and in SMU culture that most of us have unconsciously believed. I must say that this is something cliché; so cliché that we find it even embarrassing to mention it again.
The Lie is this: Money makes us happy.
Yeah. It’s really cliché, right? It’s something that have got to our mouths; into our lingo but yet, sadly, not into our hearts.
If it’s really gotten into our hearts after all that hammering from all sorts of media; why are we still striving for that high paying job? Why are we still striving to get rich as soon as possible? Why are our models of success that of those people whom make a million by 30?
It’s nothing wrong with getting rich. Getting rich is a good thing. But it’s the giving up of everything important to get this goal that makes it damnable. We would give up relationships with friends and families for those goals; we would give up our passion for it; and we would give up helping others, if it inconveniences us.
I imagined myself: Living in a Condominium with great facilities like a swimming pool, and a fully equipped gym with my family in the future. Now I change that image to a HDB flat. Was I any less happy? Not really.
How about driving a BMW? Compared to a Toyota? Not really.
They’re more like Good-to-have-but-won’t-die-if-I-don’t-have-it.
Most of us would agree. But then, why do we still strive so hard for those top paying jobs and careers?
(I guess for some, it’s not only just the hope of future happiness; but also a question of identity, but that’s another issue.)
Recently, I came from the Asia Pacific Uni-Y Conference where many foreign delegates from various countries would come together to learn about Social Enterprise. One thing I noticed about them was: It wasn’t very hard to get them ‘high’.
All we needed was music.
And they would have a good time dancing, laughing at each other and more.
The next thought was: How come it’s so hard to please Singaporeans? We go to camps, complain about this and that and so on.
We may have more in terms of wealth and possessions, but I really feel we lost something along the way. How come it takes so much to make us happy people?
If happiness was proportional to the things we can get for ourselves, then how come people in Cambodia, in Chiang Mai can be happy? Shouldn’t they be the saddest people around?
Maybe we have believed an unspoken lie all along in our culture; and we need to step out of it to see it clearly for ourselves.
Let’s hope that when we return from the Chiang Mai trip, we’ll begin to really see the things that make us happy; that we can have them now: a happy family; great relationships with friends; doing what we love; and the chance to serve people around us.
