Don’t let bitterness take root

I reference this article I wrote earlier:
Building a Solid Foundation for Your Life for this blog entry.

I had received some feedback about last week’s entry; so I’ll dwell more on the issue of handling our fears and hurts.

Sometime back, I was getting unto a bus during a peak hour. There were a lot of people at the bus door waiting for the bus to open.

There was this particular older lady I noticed that was trying to ‘hog’ the door; she wanted to get in first. I suppose that we do see a lot of it in Singapore nowadays; this Kiasu mentality but there’s something deeper than that.

She managed to get on the bus first, and grab the nice seat with lots of leg space; with a satisfied look on her face. I was incredulous; I mean.. the bus was empty and she didn’t really need to do that to get a good seat.

I got to a seat at the back of the bus and I just thought, “God, what happened to this lady?” Immediately I got an answer: “Bitterness.”

Our battle to stop bitterness from coming into our hearts is probably one of the biggest battles in our lives. The one that keeps us from becoming as such.

The thing is, life has full of disappointments. People disappoint or anger us when they can’t do certain things we expect of them. Sometimes we get disappointed or mad when things in life don’t go the way we want them to.

We get mad. We make those internal agreements I talked about earlier.

“ If there’s anything good that will happen in my life, I have to arrange it myself. If I don’t arrange for a good life myself, no one is going to do it for me.”

This agreement shows in our selfishness, our striving, our cynicism.

We become selfish because we somehow believe we need to keep some for ourselves. Be it time, money, things.

We become striving because we believe no one’s going to come through for us.

We become cynical because hopefulness often sets us up for disappointment. We stop believing.

We must not allow those agreements to be reinforced because if we live by that life philosophy, guess what, it does become reality in our lives.

I mean, if you were me, and you saw that auntie fighting for a seat; would you be eager to give up yours for her? As compared to another auntie who waits for everyone to board and takes her turn?

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that spirals down into a heart filled with a lot of resentment and bitterness.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Everyone above the age of 40 is responsible for the way he/she looks.” He didn’t want to hire a man once based on just his looks.

Have you been able to tell the difference between an older person filled with graciousness, kindness and love compared to one filled with bitterness and resentment? I have. Sometimes you can tell at first look, isn’t it?

So this is especially to the ladies; If you want to keep your beauty that you otherwise have to spend thousands and thousands on, stay on guard for your heart. Don’t let these feelings of bitterness take root in your heart. They will even change the way you look eventually!

We live in a world filled with wonders, miracles, beauty, strength, dreams and more. And while people may disappoint us, it’s only because we’re all imperfect.

Don’t stop believing in people, and don’t stop believing in yourself!